Excuses, Excuses...

Hey folks, sorry for my apparent inability to post lately. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you probably know that I have this strange compulsion to neglect posting, and then apologize for it. That's my way of doin' things.

My excuse this time is that I've been working on a stupid research paper. Yes, it's stupid, and no, I won't post it on here. No self-respecting human being would read the stuff I write for school. It's amazing how boring and uninspired something has to be in order to get an A... It's like the less the teacher enjoys reading through it, the higher the grade.

I fear for my future. By the time I've graduated highschool and college, I imagine I will have been reduced to writing expository papers on shoelace manufacturers in San Marino for fun. I say "for fun" because my writing will be so mind-numbingly bland by this time that no one would ever consider paying me for it.

Thus my life as a starving writer has begun before I was either starving, or a writer.

It seems that my parents are willing to contribute to this bright future in their own special way. I was recently informed that I must finish the research paper by April 30 (tonight), or face the consequences. Now, being as lazy and unmotivated as I am, I'm well acquainted with consequences, and just as I was considering whether or not it would be worthwhile to procrastinate a little while longer, I learned that the consequences would be my being kept from going to the prom.

The prom! I can't miss that! You can't be serious! I'm a good kid, with good grades, who will somehow finish all his work this year like he always does! Don't do this to me... I can't handle it!

My social life will be ruined! Girls will hate me! I'll never get married! Heck, I could very well meet my future wife at this prom (or discover who she is), so if I'm grounded, I will be something worse than a starving writer: I'll be a lonely starving writer.

Unless I write that paper... If the paper is written, then I will go to the prom, get married, and live a happy and fulfilled (though hungry) life. To me, the choice is clear.

It's going to be a late night at Neo's house...

UPDATE:

Let it be known that I, Neo, did in fact finish my paper on time and will be going to the prom. This, however, will do nothing to help my writing, and I don't believe there will be any ramen noodles for sale.

How depressing.

And... uh...

"All in all, I say that you need to hold down the fort and take the pond by it's ears. Who can stop you when you have a donkey? Or a ducky?"

That was, hands down, the single most amazing quasi-paragraph I have ever read. Ever.

And I didn't understand a word of it.

Underground Music Spotlight: brave Saint Saturn

As some of you have noted, I like music. In fact, I like it so much that I link to some of my favorite artists on my obscenely long sidebar. Now, I do not have any sort of a rule that the music I listen to must be Christian, but by and large, that's what it is. Christian. The only reason for this that I can think of is that I prefer my music to be clean, and I have a rather hard time finding clean music that isn't religious in nature. Not that that bothers me...

That's why my Underground Music Spotlight for this [insert period of time] is such an enigma to me. Indeed, brave Saint Saturn is one of the most intelligent and overtly Christian bands I have found, and they also are one of the most controversial.

Headed by the inordinately talented Reese Roper and composed of several other former members of the ska legend Five Iron Frenzy, BS2 has only released two albums, and does little if any touring. The reason for this? Well, they're really just a studio project, and they use so many unorthodox effects in their music (such as synths and xylophones) that it's easier just to record their music and sell it.

And please don't look at me like that. Yes, I did say they use synths and xylophones... and it sounds great! Don't take my word for it though... check out this (most likely fake) MySpace where you can listen to four songs from their latest album, The Light of Things Hoped For. What does it sound like? Well... I think the most apt description comes from the band itself; they often say their genre is "Astro rock" or "space pop"; fair enough, since both of their previous albums and their upcoming one follow the crew of the USS Gloria on its voyage through space. Creative use of previously mentioned unorthodox instruments helps communicate the feeling of the utter loneliness and desolation of space as well...

So, besides the unusual sound, what makes BS2 so controversial? Well, no one can be quite sure, but it most likely has something to do with the fact that this Christian band's most recent album was censored by Tooth and Nail Records, the Christian label who produced it.

I saw that double-take. But please, let me explain:

On the entire album, three words were censored. Twice, the word "H*ll," and once "P*ss." But wait, I can explain! Two of the words were used on the song "Heart Still Beats," one of the most jarring yet profound songs I have ever listened to. It was written about the pain and suffering of so many around us, from the strung-out harlot to the ex-convict with a grudge against the world, and the life that remains in them even when we choose to ignore it. In the second verse, the song speaks of an ex-convict answering the door:

He always looks P***ed off//
And his sunglasses stay on//
I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison//
And it doesn't seem to bother him//
When he says "go to H***"//

Harsh, and maybe a little crass? I think it paints a picture of the individual that could not be adequately portrayed otherwise. And why is "H***" considered a curseword anyway? I can understand why every other word is considered obscene, but why "H***?" Either way, it was censored on the cd.

The other instance of censorship comes in the song titled "Enamel." I have no good excuse for it, except that it was used as a literary device which even some of the great Christian authors recognize as legitimate.

The uncensored versions of their songs can be found here.

Controversy notwithstanding, BS2's lyrics are very nearly beyond compare. Consider the song "Under Bridges" from their first album "So Far from Home":

Verse 1:
Yesterday while walking//
Beneath an overpass//
I saw the figure of Jesus//
Standing barefoot on broken glass//
His beard was greying//
The smell of urine filled the air//
Asking if I had some change//
Anything that I could spare//

Bridge:
And all have hated//
Crucified, and walked away//
The Savior of the prostitutes//
Drunkards, rapists and the gays//

Of course, not every song is about this sort of thing, but it's always a breath of fresh air to find a Christian band that is not afraid to deal with real life issues that are too often ignored by the Church.

In conclusion, BS2 is a refreshing change from just about everything you thought you knew about Christian music. With compelling lyrics and a musical style that is... rather memorable... Brave Saint Saturn's newest album is the crown jewel of my cd collection. This underground side project with a mere two albums has succeeded in impressing me more than the vast majority of mainstream Christian artists, and I highly recommend that you check them out!

Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Blog

Blogs are great. I'm serious. They're absolutely great. In fact, I think they're so great that I'm dedicating this post to convincing my non-blogging readers that they should create their own blog. Having blogged for very nearly two years now, I should hope that I understand some of the benefits to blogging, and so with my usual pompous assumption that I know something you don't, I shall proceed to tell you why you all should blog.

10.) It's a great way to improve your writing. It's true! My writing style has grown in leaps and bounds since my first ventures into the world of commenting on blogs, and writing my own (thankfully) ignored rants in my isolated corner of the blogosphere. Please, don't try to imagine my writing style BEFORE I started blogging... It could lead to high blood pressure. And don't visit my old posts in my archives either... they're like cyber-cholesterol.

9.) It helps your college professors feel important. After all, unless you are the most boring blogger on the planet, your writing style will not be able to transfer to English 101, so your professor gets to feel quite powerful as he teaches you how to write "academically."

8.) It improves your vocabulary. Within a few short days of blogging, most bloggers discover that "blog" is actually short for "weblog." Soon thereafter, you'll learn the meaning of the term "hat tip," and if you're one of those annoying overachiever types, you'll probably even figure out what the heck "WYSIWYG" stands for.

7.) You can laugh at people who don't know what a blog is.

6.) You can laugh at people who think Myspace is a reputable blog service.

5.) It helps you network with awesome and extremely intelligent people. After all, we all need someone to help us write papers or fend off trolls from time to time.

4.) It gives you a reason to take your laptop into one of those hip internet cafes now. You know, the ones where you always wanted to go before, but couldn't because you'd immediately be labeled a poser by the guy looking over your shoulder?

3.) It gets rid of all that pesky free time. 'Cause we all know there are too many hours in the day to begin with...

2.) It's a great way to vent your anger after a really bad day. And, if you're mad at someone in particular, it's a convenient way to bring your grievances to light without seeming confrontational. "Oh, you mean you read my blog? Wow..."

1.) You'll meet the love of your life, and run away together to live happily ever after. ... Okay, so I made that one up. But you might end up with a stalker or two.

Our Greatest Strength, Our Strongest Weakness

Over the past few months, I've been giving quite a bit of thought to the concept of Christian Liberty. Can it truly be that we, as Christians, are free to act in whatever manner we want, and still go to Heaven? I do believe so; I believe we have a moral obligation to act in accordance with Christian beliefs, but we also have the freedom to act as though we are still complete heathens. This is part of the reason that I am loathe to judge any person's salvation based on whether or not they listen to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and live a moral life.

Salvation is a gift from God, and it is one for which there are no requirements. We need not act a certain way to gain entrance to Heaven, and there are no actions by which we can conclusively determine a person's salvation. After all, since we cannot ever know the state of a person's heart or if they truly have been saved, and since salvation is a gift from God, and since "God's gifts are irrevocable," I believe it is impossible to say that we can question a person's salvation based on their actions.

But I digress... Back on the issue of Christian Liberty, I would suggest that it is one reason Christianity has endured so long. Let me explain...

The great beauty of Christianity is in its perfect melding of moral requirements and total freedom. This is the reason it has endured for so long, through so much persecution! No other religion so seamlessly combines the need and command to act in a manner consistent with the religion with the freedom to not do so. For example, a Muslim who does not act like a Muslim is not, in fact, a Muslim. He is a failed Muslim, one who will be eternally damned (according to his religion) because he did not uphold his religion's moral code. Then consider the Buddhists: A Buddhist with many possessions, who fails to follow their moral code, is not so much a Buddhist as a failed Buddhist, who has no hope of reaching Nirvana any time soon.

Christianity though, is different. Beautifully so. Our religion emphasizes love, forgiveness, mercy and grace, but it also requires Christians to exhibit these virtues. However, in order for the religion to truly practice love, forgiveness, mercy and grace, those who adhere to the religion must be able to live their lives under perfect love, forgiveness, mercy and grace. This means that they do not, in fact, have to exhibit these virtues or any others in order to call themselves Christians. They need not fear the eternal consequences of their transgressions against the faith.

This requirement to act in a certain way, but freedom to not do so is an integral part of Christianity, and at first glance, it seems as though it lead to the death of the religion. After all, if anyone may call himself a Christian, regardless of his actions, then it is no wonder we are seen as hypocrites by so many in the world. It is because of the freedom we have that people see our religion as being so hypocritical.

But it is that very hypocrisy that makes our religion so believable. No other religion is so forgiving, and so thorough in its worldview. Christianity takes no account of the wrongs done to it, and that is our call as well; and, when we fail in this area, it is just another great testimony of the beauty of our faith. The religion is strong because we are weak. Since we are weak, then something stronger than ourselves must be behind this irrationally strong religion, and that stronger power is easily seen to be Christ.

Failure to Communicate

(originally posted to a discussion forum that I help moderate.)

In my experience, Christians and homosexuals have a misunderstanding when it comes to talking about sexuality and sin. Christians, in general, use the term "homosexuality" to mean the actual practice of sodomy, and the term "homosexual" to mean an individual who actively participates in homosexual intercourse.

However, because of their situation, homosexuals define terms differently. They tend to use the term "homosexuality" as simply the state of being attracted to a member of the same sex, and "homosexual" as any person who experiences that same-sex attraction. Therefore, when we as Christians say that homosexuality is sinful, homosexuals believe we are condemning them for the attraction that they undeniably (and uncontrollably) feel.

Of course, this is not so. Christians do not (or at least, should not) condemn anyone in the first place. Secondly, feeling a homosexual attraction is no more sinful than feeling the urge to lie, or more relavently, the urge to masturbate. The temptation to sin, whether it is same-sex attraction or the urge to masturbate, is NOT sinful.

Furthermore, you will never catch me saying that homosexuality feels unnatural to homosexual individuals, or that they have some innate "knowing" or "feeling" deep down that it is wrong. It is what is known as a "signature sin": a particular sin that an individual struggles with more than others. Homosexual activity is sinful according to the Bible and a perversion according to nature, but no amount of preaching about this will change a homosexual's urges. It's the same as if you were to confront a compulsive gambler about his gambling addiction (as gambling would be his signature sin); laws of God and nature may be set against him, but words alone will not change his ways because he struggles with this particular issue more than with any other, and has begun to cope with it the only way he knows how. Namely, accepting the sin.

Now, I have already stated my case elsewhere that homosexuality (even homosexual activity) and Christianity are not mutually exclusive; however, it would be (as C. S. Lewis would put it) rather difficult to be a practicing homosexual and a *good* Christian simultaneously... but a homosexual can be a Christian just like a practicing liar can be a Christian, because lets face it, we've all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Another Kind of Total Depravity

I Don't Want to Die' Heard on Flight 93 Tape

"The last words heard as [Flight 93] nears the ground were repeated four times in Arabic: 'Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest. Allah is the greatest.' Then, just the sound roaring static can be heard."

Does anyone else find it odd that someone as "great" as Allah is scared out of his wits by Jews and people who convert to Christianity? How great can he be if he needs a bunch of men with rugs on their heads to blow themselves and the infidels up? Sounds more like desperation than greatness... but then, what do I know?

I'm just a civilized Westerner.

Total Depravity

Okay, for my first foray into posting about Calvinism, I'll simply ask this question, in hopes that one of my kind Calvinist readers will explain it to me:

How do you define "Total Depravity?"

Of course, I believe in Total Depravity, but perhaps not in the same sense that Calvinists do... then again, we may completely agree, I don't know. Hence the fact that I asked the question.

I understand that Man's Fall led to a sin nature in all men, and thus Total Depravity, but beyond that, I don't think I fully understand the Calvinist point of view. Is Total Depravity the belief (or does it encompass the belief) that we are "incapable of doing any good on our own," or is it the idea that we all have the tendency to sin, and no amount of good works on our part can ever save us from that sin?

I would just research it myself, but this is quicker and I wanted to post before I go to bed. Now if only I can get the Great and Powerful David Ketter to watch my back and kick me in the head if I say something stupid.

Er, when I say something stupid...

Once in a Lifeti-- Er, Eternity!

On Wednesday
at two minutes
and three seconds
after 1:00 A.M.
in the morning,
the time and date
will be

01:02:03 04/05/06.

This won't ever happen again.

Just thought I'd let you all know.

Hat tip: My dad.

No... Freakin'... Duh...

Sexually Charged Media Encourages Teenage Sexuality (from Y!News)

When I read the headline, I was struck speechless; not because I disagreed with it, mind you, but simply because I wondered what poor sap was so undecided on the issue of the media and teenage sex that he needed someone to study it. We can be reasonably certain, though, that this guy doesn't have kids.

Or a frightful overabundance of common sense.