Happy Not-So-New Year!

Please tell me, someone: is there a deadline for "happy new year" posts? Do they have to be submitted by January 1st, or do we get a week to post them? I don't really care. I'll say "Happy New Year" whenever I darn well please. So HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

In honor of the new year, which is completely inanimate and neither honorable nor dishonorable, I have made up my mind to NOT post New Years Resolutions.

Why? Because no one keeps them anyway. And if you do happen to keep your resolutions... Please don't tell me, I'm trying to live out the rest of my denial here! It makes me feel better.

So today, instead of posting a list of goals that I will forget about before Valentine's day, I'll post something else: A list of things I have learned through the past year. That's right, just because I'm a teenager, it doesn't mean I can't learn a lesson or two. Or twenty. So without further ado, I give you Neo's Lessons for the New Year!

1. Guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days. After something like thirty days, it's just ridiculous.



2. If the guests are old people who bathed once during their stay, the word "stink" is meant to be taken literally.



3. If the guests slept in your room with their dogs... buy new sheets. And pillows. And lots of Febreze.



4. A new mattress wouldn't hurt either.



5. Xbox is better than Playstation 2. I'm sorry, I didn't believe it either...



6. Nobody listens to the best bands or musicians.



7. In order to be a successful music artist, one no longer needs to be a talented lyricist. Or musician. A loud bass guitar and some non-sensical/profane lyrics will suffice for most purposes.



8. God is not "scientific" because He cannot be observed or experimented with; however, "dark matter" is an acceptable explanation for most inexplicable galactic phenomena.



9. There is a reason that Latin is a dead language.



10. The Iron Law of Blogging is as follows: The number of visitors a blog receives is directly proportional to the frequency of with which the administrator posts.



11. Worldview Academy is the greatest place on earth, and every teenager who reads this should look into going.



12. The Christian Faith, when examined, is more reasonable than any philosophy borne in the Age of Reason.



13. Fedoras are the most wicked-awesome hats on the face of the earth. I want one.



14. Simply taking Driver's Ed, passing the driving test and getting one's driver's license does not mean that one will be allowed to drive alone.



15. Smart people who know that smart people do really dumb things still do really dumb things.



16. Having one friend you can talk to is worth more than having ten friends who won't listen. To those friends: Thank you.



17. Adults really need to stop lying to us teenagers: These are not the best years of our lives.



18. A split-second decision in 2003 can lead to years of treatment and massive dental and orthodontic bills. Take it from someone who knows, people: When in doubt, just duck!



19. Ignorance isn't really bliss... if it were, then most of the world would be unreasonably happy.



20. The final lesson I learned this year: In blog awards, I'm still a third party candidate. And a darn good one at that!

So there you have it. Say, this might just become a Strangely Normal tradition, seeing as I've written a post like this two years in a row. Does that sound like a good idea... or at least, a little more entertaining than reading a list of things that I don't plan on doing for the next year?