Yes, I'm Still France-Bashing
Jacque Chirac defending his foreign policy:
"Bonjour, my name is Jacque Chirac. I lead a country where the people eat snails, make heterosexuality look like a bad thing, and share a common language with baboons. Unfortunately, these virtues make us rather ineffective in war, so I cover up our weaknesses by cozying up to every dictator I can find. And you know what? Once you get past their genocidal side, these guys are pretty nice (go figure)! It's those freedom-mongers across the sea that you have to look out for; if they had their way, I'd have no despots to associate with! Without these vital associations, I would have no way to cover up France's military weakness."
"Therefore, it is crucial that France oppose freedom and its supporters WHEREVER they may raise their ugly heads; our national security depends on such dictatorial oppression. I am confident that not only France will benefit from this foreign policy, but that the entire world will also. By opposing freedom and and turning a blind eye toward the activities of totalitarian heads-of-state, we will prevent a repeat of WWII. Instead of all that nasty conflict, we will instead live in peace as tyrants destroy their own people, and passively plot against Western civilization. Such safety as I have guaranteed you has not been seen since Saddam was still in power, and I am confident that it will last at least as long as the current Pope."
"VIVE LE FRANCE!"
posted by jacob.thrasher @ 4/28/2005 10:47:00 PM
22 comments
22 Comments:COMMENT POLICY
Please refrain from the use of foul language. Any failure to comply will result in comment deletion.
That was really rude. You just can't judge a whole country like that. Have you ever been there?! Have you ever talked to the people of France?!'
I have done both and they are wonderful and amazing people.
If your insulting their "dictatorship" why don't you mock Italy?! They have had way more dictatorships than France. Mussolini...hello!!!
I'm not too sure if you could call them "people" of France... They seem to share their language, diet, and sexual behaviors with wild monkeys. You know, if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, walks like a duck...
What gives you the right to judge?
Despite the fact that we are not to judge, I've yet to see a verse in the Bible prohibiting observation...
Sorry for the antagonistic tone... It's certainly not intended! :-D
Cozying up to every dictator????? WTF????
Let me list just some of the dictators the US has cozied up to:
-Pinochet
-Saddam Hussein
-Noriega
-Iosef Stalin (what, you don't remember WW2?)
...etc.
Freedom-mongers?
God, this is stupid... common language with baboons? Ineffective in war? Eat snails? You eat dead pigs over there in America... and shellfish(Remember the bible?) Oppose freedom? Ever heard the word liberty before? Where exactly do you think that word comes from? Or the friggin STATUE OF LIBERTY itself???
Plot against Western Civilization? Now I have an image of Stalin, Saddam, Chirac, Genghis Khan and Darth Vader sitting around a table plotting evil plans against the Only True Civilization, the good ol' US of A.
Give all this stupidity a break. You're making it difficult for Americans to get laid abroad. And if you want to bash France, at least give 'em back their statue first.
You just insulted an entire country and said no antagonistic tone was intended? What, exactly, did you intend?
I think I'll sink to your level for a second.
America is a gay-bashing paradise of freedom(from taxes), as long as you are in the top 1% of the wealth charts. Americans are arrogant pigs who display no knowledge of the outside world, and are probably couldn't place the United States of America on a world map. They burn all books, and will shoot anyone who talks using words of over two syllables. To keep the world under their boot, they make sure to spend a hell of a lot of money on impressive-looking military equipment that either doesn't work or gets lost. Their miliary takes more casaulties to friendly fire than the opposition, and cause more casualties to the civilian population than the enemy military forces. But since their leaders don't give a shit about anything more than the NYSE, they say why the hell not? And since the population is all too busy goofing off while the real work gets done by Chinese sweatshop workers, Indian programmers or illegal Mexican immigrants, they don't give a shit either.
Howdja like them apples?
note... that i do not actually believe any of the things above (apart from perhaps the US military losing expensive equipment all the time), I'm just showing Neo how stupid his own ravings against France are. Unlike many conservatives, I don't believe that the entire populations of countries with policies that I oppose are idiots, cowards, or gay. Learn to show some respect.
I apologize for my tone in prior posts. It was very late over here, and I was very annoyed by this post. Still, my sentiments stand.
Ah, no worries, TLA. Thanks for the apology; the tone seemed a little out of character.
First thing I'd like to do is point out the laws about eating pork and shellfish... I'm not sure how much of the Bible you've read, but I would recommend that you not imply that dietary laws from the Old Testament govern Christians today.
As for my own tone, I was referring to the tone I was taking toward Laura. I was not meaning to seem antagonistic toward her, but rather toward the French (who don't seem to fear being antagonistic towards us).
As for dictators...
Unfortunately, I don't know much about Pinochet's relationship with the U.S. I do know that the U.S. Senate did some investigation into Riggs Bank's involvement with him, so just how cozy were we with him?
As for Noriega, perhaps it should be noted that he was overthrown, captured, tried, and imprisoned by the United States (under a Republican President, no less).
Saddam Hussein was also overthrown and captured by the U.S. under a Republican President.
In response to Stalin, I remember WWII pretty well... in particular, I remember Yalta. Sure, we seemed pretty chummy with Stalin at that point; what did you expect from FDR? A leftist President gives Eastern Europe to a Soviet dictator, and the Soviet Union falls under a Conservative President's watch. I'm sensing a pattern... :)
--------------------
Liberty, yes, it's a nice word. What was the last nation that France freed from a dictator? As a matter of fact, how many totalitarian regimes is France willing to enforce sanctions against?The French don't do a lot of liberating, but they're pretty good at getting liberated.
"Plot against Western Civilization? Now I have an image of Stalin, Saddam, Chirac, Genghis Khan and Darth Vader sitting around a table plotting evil plans against the Only True Civilization, the good ol' US of A."
Hah! That's it! We'll take out Darth Vader next! Those Sith extremists are dangerous! Thanks for the laugh, LoneAmigo.
"They (Americans) burn all books, and will shoot anyone who talks using words of over two syllables."
Sometimes I think that's true... *sigh*
One last thing I'd like to clear up...
I'm not sure, but I think I might have given you the impression that I was calling the French people "gay." What I said, however, was that they "make heterosexuality look like a bad thing." I was actually referring to their hyper-heterosexuality, rather than calling them homosexuals.
Glad to hear from you again, TLA.
Neo
I must admit I know little about Noriega, but he was helped by the CIA before he went against them.
Saddam Hussein was also chummy with the US under a Republican adminstration, that of Reagan.
And the Soviet Union would have fallen under a Democratic administration. What, you think communism was likely to succeed without Brave Ronnie taking on the Evil Empire? The system was screwed up, and it broke. Well, yes, it might not have broken down at that point had Dukakis won in '88, but that's mainly due to the butterfly effect. As a keen student of alternate history, I know it could have gone any of a thousand ways, and we're probably lucky the Soviet Union collapsed in the way it did, leaving behind a... relatively democratic state rather than a nuclear wasteland or a new dictatorship.
FDR didn't give Eastern Europe to the Soviets. The Soviets took it. And in any case, it was his VP, Truman, who accepted the Soviet control of Eastern Europe after FDR died. Sure, he could have marched across into the Soviet controlled regions and condemned millions of Americans, not to mention Russians, to death... but he didn't.
And Pinochet was basically placed in the control of Chile with CIA assistence after the people of Chile elected a marxist President(the first and probably only marxist to be democratically elected as a head of state). Lots of Chileans died under Pinochet's regime.
Sorry, but I have to chime in here. I have been to France. I lived in Spain for almost a year, in a Spanish home, with a Spanish family (and by Spanish I mean socialist). And when I traveled to France... well let's recap. I get off the train, immediately subject to an attempted scamming by a guy with a crappy American accent dressed like a hippy. Then I find a hostile that is run by an underpaid immigrant (underpaid immigrants? in France? No way). Then I go to the metro where I am charged a higher price because I am not a citizen of France (discrimination?). Then some street vendor tries to charge me 3 euros (about $2.70 at the time) for an apple. Screw that country. And I kind of feel bad saying that because it was mainly Paris, but we did not find any warm or friendly people in France (even Americans studying there were snobby and self-hating). So anyway, from a first-hand experience, France sucks, the people suck, the food sucks, and the women need to shave (and wear bras more often... made it to the beach, ugh).
Lastly, to ring in on the last post, Pinochet... not so bad of a regime. I mean there was the killing and the human rights. But the man did a lot economically for the country. You should check that out at least.
RE: Fascist Bible/Old Testament comment
It's funny that you talk about how inappropriate it is to quote the Old Testament with regards to Christians today, yet the only part of the Bible that mentions Homosexuality is in the Old Testament. And since you have already made it obvious that Homosexuality is wrong,based on Jesus I assume, I guess you will be ordering the kosher meal when you finally get old enough to fly to France on your own.
And by the way, have you ever even been to France?
If not then you know nothing of the French people (who do smell by the way) and have no right to comment on them.
At the risk of trampling by swine, a partial display of New Testament wisdom is:
NIV
Romans 2:24-32: Therefore, God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant, and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those wo do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things, but also approve of those who practice them.
Please don't take it out of context. There is much more about the redeeming power of the blood of Jesus in the NT than there is about the failures of mankind. I just wanted to correct the fallacy that lustful self indulgence, including the homosexual kind, is not addressed in the New Testament.
David
quote: Pinochet... not so bad of a regime. I mean there was the killing and the human rights. But the man did a lot economically for the country. You should check that out at least.
Oh yeah, the killing and the human rights abuses, not such a big deal if he makes the economy grow, is it???? In any case, according to zompist.com: "In twenty years, foreign debt quadrupled and the poverty rate doubled, from 20% to 41%. Chile's growth rate from 1974 to 1982 was 1.5%; the Latin American average was 4.3%."
And yeah, France isn't the greatest country in the world. But America ain't either. In fact, the two countries have a lot in common. Both think they are the bees knees, both think they have the right to dictate world affairs, both think that they invented freedom/liberty, both think that the others are pigs/monkeys. Only thing is, one of them has the power to enforce their will.
America is a gay-bashing paradise of freedom(from taxes), as long as you are in the top 1% of the wealth charts. Americans are arrogant pigs who display no knowledge of the outside world, and are probably couldn't place the United States of America on a world map. They burn all books, and will shoot anyone who talks using words of over two syllables. To keep the world under their boot, they make sure to spend a hell of a lot of money on impressive-looking military equipment that either doesn't work or gets lost. Their miliary takes more casaulties to friendly fire than the opposition, and cause more casualties to the civilian population than the enemy military forces. But since their leaders don't give a s--t about anything more than the NYSE, they say why the h--l not? And since the population is all too busy goofing off while the real work gets done by Chinese sweatshop workers, Indian programmers or illegal Mexican immigrants, they don't give a s--t either.
Just replace "America" with "Middle Eastern Countries". Makes plenty of sense.
Wow. Neo, I used to think you were an intelligent, thoughtful teen. And now you publish tripe such as this.
You are big on logical fallacies and such, and yet you write this.
Have you been to France? Have you interview Chirac? Are you fluent in French? Have you eaten French food? Do you know how each and every Frenchmen acts and believes?
In other words, you are basing your ridiculous, puerile rant on second-hand information.
If a liberal had done something like this, you'd be all over them. But when you do it, it's all factual, logical, and funny. Whatever.
FYI - When I went to France, I had a great time. Parisians were a bit snobby, but they aren't much different than Americans: they can't stand it when visitors don't even try to speak their language. Since I live in D.C., I feel the same way - at least try to speak English when asking me something!
Also, when I went to visit the WWII memorials, I was astounded how friendly and appreciative the locals were, even though it's been over 50 years and I, 25 at the time, had no personal experience in WWII.
I was quite touched. I wonder - if you met a Frenchmen, would you return the favor? Would you thank him for the help they gave in the Revolutionary War, or would you jump all over him?
As a proud French-American, I can say this:
you're a loser.
Oh, come now, YATT...
"Have you been to France? Have you interview Chirac? Are you fluent in French? Have you eaten French food? Do you know how each and every Frenchmen acts and believes?"
Have I claimed to do any of these things? I DO know what I have seen out of France (second-hand information, sure), but I have not demonized every citizen of their country, or pretended to know how "each and every Frenchman acts and believes."
"I wonder - if you met a Frenchmen, would you return the favor? Would you thank him for the help they gave in the Revolutionary War, or would you jump all over him?"
Do you really think I'd jump all over someone just for being a Frenchman? Of course not. I admittedly don't have much experience with Frenchmen, but I did play tennis with one. He was not rude, and I wasn't rude to him. As I said, this post was solely for entertainment. I was poking fun, but I wouldn't base my opinions of an entire culture on it.
Wow. So when the MSM or some libs talk derisively about Christians or conservatives, that's awful. When you do it, it's just poking fun.
Can I poke fun at you, using tired memes and what not? Let's see, your from Georgia and homeschooled...probably a racist, slow-witted redneck who sleeps with his cousin.
Almost as funny as yours!
The nature of satire is to highlight issues by amplification. Kinda like verbal characature. The issues he was highlighting (not the ampifications themselves) are all matters of France's international diplomacy, and can all be illustrated as facts (as long as you believe media reports). Some of the post may have gone a little over the top, but come on, it's satire.
Give him a break; you ever get on a roll, and fall into youthfull exuberance as you rant?
D
YATT, this post was ridiculing French foreign policy more than anything else. You speak as though the point of my post was to ridicule Frenchmen as individuals, which is incorrect. Granted, in a comment I likened them to wild monkeys, but do you really mean to tell me that you think I believe that?
Their language is a matter of opinion (and not the basis of bigotry). Obviously, there have been those who were not too fond of it. The same goes for their diet (specifically, the escargot). As for their... sexual reputation, surely not all are so irresponsible, but there must be a reason for that reputation.
Obviously, the small amount of mocking that actually went toward Frenchmen was based on stereotypes, and nowhere did I suggest that such stereotypes applied to all Frenchmen.
Which is where we find the difference between your redneck comment and my France post. You took a stereotype and assumed that I must be like that too. You moved the stereotype, or cultural reputation, to an individual level, and pretended that it applies to all individuals in the South. My post did not assume any of these things; while I DID make fun of the stereotypes, I did NOT suggest that every Frenchman conforms to those stereotypes.
Neo, you really do split hairs to justify your own "satire" while condeming the satire of others.
Let me hone mine a bit:
Georgians are a bunch of uneducated, backwards, racist rednecks who enjoy fornicating with their cousins.
Is that better? Is that simply satire based on the magnification of assumed stereotypes? Would you not be insulted if someone posted that?
Even if you weren't insulted, it shows ignorance and stupidity, which is what you showed with your inane post on France.
I'd chalk this up to you being a little inmature. However, let me give you a piece of advice that was given to me when I was 18 and full of piss and vinegar:
Before you satire, make fun of, or ridicule a person, ethnic group, nationality, etc., imagine saying it to the person's face. Specifically, a much larger person who could probably do you physical harm.
If you wouldn't say it to their face because you like the way your face looks, then do say it, write it, or post it at all.
It was good advice to me back in my younger days as a teenager in southern Virginia, when ethnic slurs were par for the course.
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